well..... not inspired from Malice !!

Do I have GOD complex ??

- I dont deny completely !!

"God Complex - a state of mindset wherein one feels like GOD "

(nothing supernatural or concerned with religious and typical form of God nor about a state wherin one is mentally disturbed or thinks superior, as a few definitions claim - in 2nd stanza I elborate)

I believe there is no one in this world who is Great (Exclaim "!") - who is beyond - who is exceptionally "exceptional ". [GOD should be feeling like this... he is the creator if you believe in him, he is controlling you and every thing else in this world] I have a weird mind frame which does not let me appreciate the effort undertaken by someone to reach a stand in his/her life, instead I just feel they have done it because they have spent time on it, they have worked for it, or the situations had demanded it, so could anyone else do, if they did/wished. Though my general conceptual thoughts alert me on my thinking - I am helpless. It helps me and also ruins me. At the same time it doesn't mean that I totally neglect or ignore or underplay what one has achieved- I am not saying what they have done is stupid, just that anybody can do it (more importantly "I" can do it (god can do anything everything) ).One has to get what they deserve for what they have achieved - I am not against this. I also dont mean that I can do something miraculous like say, "a heart operation to someone tomorrow morning and after operation the patient survives !!" (though to some extent I believe I can - ha ha)

Whenever situations demand like say, a quarrel or a state where one is acting insensibly or when an action needs justification which is unacceptable etc., I take my reign of reference beyond humans, beyond their usual social rules and laws, beyond emotions and human sense of mind to a meticulously formulated state of reference, where I put myself in the state of God or more specifically to a state of very wide frame of onlook. What I mean is, I look at the situation keeping in mind the world, the nature and all other things. I think of animals, all other living beings and keep in mind their behaviour and outcomes, afterall Man(well even women.. he he) is an Animal, At this mind state/mind frame every thing appears small, every thing appears silly and every thing looks like stupid.

I doubt if I have conveyed this properly. Like for example, say somebody is behaving unruly, I dont go against them unruly just because it is offending me at that moment(no tit for tat I mean), Even if the person is dumb/weak/someone unimportant/someone who sounds too stupid or even be big/great/important - irrespective of what they are, I justify in me, their behaviour by relating it to the factual co-incidence that made him/her react in that sense- What I simply mean is that -a person goes unruly because the person feels going unruly is a requisite - at the same time I dont mean that I would go on and support a person doing wrong and keep justifying it, but I develop a mind state to that that height, to that extent to forgive the person even if his behaviour is highly unacceptible - Like a GOD !! I get a feeling that I surpass all such stupid, silly and at times idiotic issues - (though many take it serious) "I am Beyond the Bounds of all these"

I didn't mean that if someone is molesting a girl I will forgive him or justify the fact that his molesting is because of certain reasons, but rather use the four factor - "request(please)->question(why not do that?)->demand/warning(I want u to do)->force(attack)" - I know at situations like that, it looks highly justifiable to enter the state of force- something that an animal does - not a social animal(and not god), the only difference between an animal and social animal is the ability to think. Though he has the mind to think, he is sometimes overshadowed by the inner animal instinct. once u give a chance for the social part of him/her to let think - he/she would change - if not get to the second of the four factor and go on..I dont express or jump to a state of questioning right in the begining (as most do) nor lose hope in my request as 'I believe I cannot be wrong(unless someone disproves me), my thoughts cannot be wrong unless the person is adamant or illiterate to understand or I fail to convey him/her in a way they would understand' I am not like a few more short tempered people who go to the state of demand or warning and a few highly short tempered who go to the state of attack directly.

At times I disregard a whole group - a whole community- a whole society and think what I am is what it is. I have this God like - superlative character -It encourages me, gives me confidence and make me fear nothing - nothing at all in this world - including deamons, ghosts and gods for that matter. Sometimes this discourages by making me consider nothing worthwhile that can drag me to work toward it.

"Am empty mind is devil's workshop" - I have not formulated this when I am empty minded but has been in me from long. In a dilema of whether to change or change not.